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It's true. Ms. Cheap, the popular columnist from the Tennessean, with fans throughout the country, is writing a new book and she wants your help. Elizabeth and I are both big fans of Mary, aka Ms. Cheap, and we had a hunch that the best source of tips online and around town would come from you, the StyleBlueprint readers. So here's the deal:
The working title of her new book, to be published by Turner Publishing, is "365 Things to Think about for a Long and Happy Marriage.'' Mary would love "(StyleBlueprint) followers to contribute their tips and advice along with their names and how long they have been married — I know your following will have wonderful ideas - both from their experience and from things they've heard along the way. The advice can be things to do, and of course things not to do, as well as things to think about." She also added that's it's OK if the hindsight is clearer, and you are now divorced! So, leave a comment and your name (it's OK to leave out your last name if you choose) along with a bit of advice for our readers on this post. You never know, you just may say "OH, That's me!" when the book is published later on.
Be sure to see Ms. Cheap's book published last year and instock at local bookstores and at Amazon: 99 thing to save money in your household budget.
*Also, please note that the Trish McEvoy event at Private Edition, which we wrote about on Friday, has a ratio of makeup artists to attendees of 1:2. While our post said 1:2, the email teaser said 1:1.
We can't wait to read what you all have to say to Ms. Cheap in marriage, so comment away!
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11 Responses to “Ms. Cheap needs YOUR advice”
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Don’t be resentful for lack of help if you’ve never taken the time to ask for help.
-Liza
married 12 years
My husband is my best friend but we also have outside interest. This is very important in a marriage. I need my girl time and he needs his guy time. Married 30 years and looking forward to 30 more.
Laugh together every day. Laughter makes you feel better and can cover a multitude of sins!
-Misty, married 13 years
If you are in a blended marriage….2nd or more, do not try to be a “mother” to your spouses child or children. Be their friend and it will be on their terms. You will be very unhappy if you have expectations of having a mother/child relationship with them. They will decide what they want from you and you need to be that friend or support system for them because you love your spouse. Remember there are very few functional families, if any, particularly in a divorced situation!
Let things go, do not bring up the past. Think about if something is really worth an argument before you start. Most things are truly insignigicant and not worth a fight. Married for 16 years and still crazy about him!!!
Put God first and pray together and for one another. Make each other a priority and always try to make sure your spouse has their needs met. You have to communicate to make this happen and if you need something, you have to say so. Be best friends and genuinely enjoy each others company and companionship. I’ve been married for 5 years and I love my husband so much more than the day I married him!
I must chime in and agree with Ann above re: blended families; particularly to women who marry men with children (but have no children themselves). In my experience, keeping my mouth shut when I disagreed with the way my husband and his ex-wife were raising their child was the best thing I could do. I had to learn this over time and by making mistakes, of course, but I do believe the less I interfered, the better. It was best for me to tend to my own business and stay out of theirs, even when I wanted to give them all kinds of “advice” on how to do it perfectly! :)
Amy
1. Fight fair. That means no biological warfare — no bringing other family members into the fight as in, “you’re just like your mother.” No verbal hitting below the belt.
2. Commit to one night out a week together but also one night out a week for each spouse to do his/her own thing — take a class, sit in the movie theater alone, join a tennis team, spend time with friends.
3. Appreciate and embrace your differences.
–Married 26 years
I have found that by keeping your wife’s blog running fast, a long, stable and loving marriage is the result. Oh, and doing the dishes some too….
1. If you want him to do things with which you have more familiarity, especially if it’s something you’ll want him to do often in the future (like taking care of a new baby), don’t criticize or “correct” him if his way of doing things happens to be different from yours (but is otherwise safe). Your way is not necessarily the only way, even though you may think so. Even if you’ve learned through trial and error that there is a better way, fight the urge to say “You’re doing it wrong.” The response is often “Fine, YOU do it.” Unless safety is an issue, if you can’t stand to watch him do it differently without criticizing it, quietly leave the room.
2. Choose the right person to begin with.
Married 22 years.
Find out your love languages (from the book The Five Love Languages) and keep your love tanks full.
Married 10 months