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Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it. We’re all friends here, right? There is definitely an elephant in the room.
Pachyderm Pedicure
I am so thrilled that you took the time and effort to get a pedicure. Nothing thrills me less than girls who wear sandals with nary polish or even a buff on their toes. So, I appreciate a polished toe.
But I have to ask that you please stop doing a French pedicure. Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top. Let’s discuss:
Two left feet?
No toe is supposed to show the whites of your nail. That means your toenails need to be clipped, NOT ENHANCED by white paint. I can hear your toenails clicking on the floor whenever I see a French manicured toe.
Pedicured talons with toe nunchucks
Let’s face it ladies, toes are ugly. Paint them a monochromatic color and move on. Fix it and forget it.
Here are some basic rules of thumb, I mean big toe:
1. Please do not get acrylic nails on your toes.
The toe ring is the least of the worries here folks.
2. Please do not trick out your toenails. You are not in high school.
Like Pimp my Ride for your toenails
3. Please do not grow your toenails this long ever. Wouldn’t you wake yourself up all night scratching the sheets with your toenails? I shudder at the thought.
I'm nauseous. A. that her nails are that long and B. that she is driving barefoot.
4. Please leave the toe jewelry at home. Fingers show off rings because they are elongated and are such a pretty backdrop for jewelry. Toes look like stumps. Toe rings look like stump tourniquets. No elongation is happening. Get my picture.
Looks like this little piggy got engaged.
Ladies, there are lots of other options out there. This post can be the e-Harmony of nail matches, acting as your guide for the perfect fit.
Allow me to introduce the “one-color” approach. Think neat, shorter, clean, monochromatic nails, thereby making the toes seem longer and “simpler.” Try a light color on your toes; use the color that you would have used on your French pedicure.
Lovely light pedicure
For those of you weaning off the French pedicure, this is an excellent first step. It’s a French without the white exaggeration. Heck, go crazy and do three coats. I recommend Essie Ballet Slipper, OPI’s Bubble Bath or OPI’s Samoan Sand (shown above.)
As you gain more confidence, go for some color. Some great colors to try this season are Essie’s Turks and Caicos, OPI’s MOD-ern Girl, OPI’s Barefoot in Barcelona and Essie’s Bermuda Shorts. Most of these were actually StyleBlueprint picks during the summer. (These colors are shown on fingers, not toes).
Turks and Caicos by Essie
Mod-ern Girl by OPI
Bermuda Shorts by Essie
Barefoot in Barcelona by OPI
A quick note, the nail length in the ESSIE color photos is what is current. The square and the long are not modern. But, we like these colors!
French pedicures, unlike the people, are not chic. They are, for lack of a better term, passé. Their time has passed. Time to clean up our toes and move on.
There, I’ve said it. Are we still friends?
Weigh in on this discussion and tell us what you think. Comments, please….!
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51 Responses to “French pedicure, just say “non””
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Laughing out loud at this! And those long toenails give me the heebie jeebies, YUCK!
not to mention toe nail fungus and infections from pedicurists not sterilizing their tools- yuck!
French pedicures? No. Not for anyone at any age. (And btw, I’m betting no one in France is sporting a French pedicure.)
And if we’re on the subject of toenails, let me raise the flag for the simple approach. Yes, you could go with a simple, monochromatic color. Or…you could be really bold, and just go with…nothing. That’s right. Get your feet nicely buffed and massaged when you can. Keep your toenails short and simple. And keep them polish free. Then, it’s one area of your life that doesn’t need maintenance, touch-ups, fussing and updates.
So glad someone finally said it–definitely, non!
Thank you for finally saying it! Why would anyone want to make their toenails look longer?!
Hilarious ladies, pure genius. I almost rolled on the floor, while laughing my arse off.
But where did you get all of these creepy photos? I’m going to have nightmares!
I simply could not agree more with this post.
I have always despised and never understood the French pedicure. And those long toe nails, eek!
OK, reading this while having breakfast… lost my appetite!
And AGREE.
Thank you for posting this! I totally agree, but…it’s also time to get rid of the French manicure on your fingers, not just the toes. It is a trend that, in my opinion, should have gone to sleep in the early 90s. Not to take $$ away from salons, but it’s really passe’ to get acrylics/overlays anymore. The trend for the past several years has been nice, short, natural nails on both hands and feet, with the goal to be able to go with just a good buff. Color is fun, and monochromatic is the only way to go, but please stop the French manicure on hands and feet!
We agree that the French Manicure is out as well. But, we wanted to concentrate on the worst offender today!
Well put – I always feel like I am judging the individual, who is otherwise stylish with the exception of her toes – and my comments come out all wrong! And Cindy, with perhaps the rare exception in les banlieues, no one in France wears French Manicured feet. They are just now widely sporting polish on their toes at all, used to be just a buff.
I should not have read this while drinking my morning coffee. Yuck & LOL…!!!! Thank you for writing about my subconscious thoughts concerning feet. Feet are functional. Be good to them. Don’t embarrass them. Keep them: simple, clean and classic!!!
Yes! Finally the truth in print! So glad you said it and I didn’t have to! This post had me laughing hysterically, and I hope those who need reforming will take your advice…you know, a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down a bit easier…
AMEN! However, I am one of those who thought the trend should have never started in the first place. Feet don’t gross me out, but those long toe nail pictures may give me nightmares!
Couldn’t agree more and really am over the french manicure on nails too. Having said that I still do an acrylic overlay that is short and just solid buff color. :) Come from a long history of bad nails…
All I have to say is, “Oui, Oui, Oui!”. Très bien! xx, jb
Well, ewww.
I had no idea.
This absolutely cracked me up! HA! I couldn’t agree more!
Fabulous! Thank you!
Love it! Now, can you please write another “public service post” regarding the over-exposure of the fodora? That is a trend I’m ready to see put to bed!
Too funny!
Thank you for bringing this important fashion news to French pedicured ladies everywhere. That look is “chicless” to say the least. I prefer Essie’s Sun of a Beach or Orly Seashell. Hope all my French pedicured friends see this. While we are on the nail subject, fingers and toes do not have to be the same color, but please ladies, let them be complimentary.
My favorite line: Toe rings look like stump tourniquets. Brilliant!! I hate toes. I hate feet. I REALLY hate a French manicure on toes. I don’t need to have my eye drawn to your nasty feet! Stop it. Just stop it.
Thank you for writing this blog. :-)
Amen to that! I always wear Samoan Sand on my hands and some shade of red on my toes :)
Could not agree more!!!! Never liked the french pedicure or the long toe nails it requires. Yuck!!
TOTALLY AGREE! I love the first thought about hearing their nails clicking as they walk. Why can’t people (women) realize that long toenails are gross!
Thanks for putting it all out there. Hopefully some of those out there with the lack of nail knowledge will read this somehow.
Way to go!
…wow…what a bunch of sycophants…I scrolled through all the comments…really, did no one contradict you? I suppose I agree that people with ugly toes/feet should not sport a french pedicure….indeed…perhaps they should not even wear open-toed shoes. but cute little toes with a THIN white line and a nice appropriate top coat..somewhere between a pale pink and a beige is a great look. the key is a VERY THIN white line. a wide line, to be certain, reads: common.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! French pedicures and manicures have disgusted me from the minute they came on the scene. Here’s to the lovely, classic, sensibly trimmed, one-color painted toenail.
I’m so glad to see that this was published…I can not stand a french pedi on the foot, and you have helped me confirm the “proper” length…I too felt the same.
Thank you for publishing this. I get sick to my stomach whenever I see toe nails extending pass the toes and I am so tired of the French polish. Thank you and please send this to ladies who need to be told.
This is one guy who agrees 100% – cut them close & paint them red!
I’m a guy that was somehow linked here by accident but had to read the bit and couldn’t agree more – as a total modern, well-dressed and styled guy’s-guy, I find french pedicures disgusting. I think women can have incredibly cute feet and think the “buffed” natural way or a simple or ever fun color looks great.
But french pedicures, yuck, that screams “high maintenance” to me and I can absolutely tell you that among my guy friends, they all agree. It’s trashy and the only kind of guys that find it attractive are equally trashy Jersey-Shore types.
Just a little feedback from a real man. We notice these things on women in the same way you notice our shoes.
I guess I’m the only guy here that really likes french pedicured toes on women. Personally, it’s sexy, simple, yet sophisticated and professional looking. Even better with a matching french manicure. I’m not too keen on the french tips with differnt colours phaze that going on right now. Blue with white tips, red with black tips, pink with yellow tips, black with orange tips? None of these do it for me and I find it a turn-off. Clear and white is where it’s at and long toenails are scary and nasty, I do agree. I also don’t like sloppy, chippy, one coat pedicures using cheap reds that look like they were done by a grade-schooler. When in doubt ladies, nothing beats three coats of clear on the fingers and toes. If you’re sporting flip flops, thongs, or any kind of sandal where your toes are front stage, please keep them neat and well pedicured.
I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, I have never been a fan of the French pedicure, even on someone with pretty feet! Not a fan of toe rings either. Let’s hope everyone gets your message!
Toe rings can make a woman’s foot look that much more sexy as long as she doesn’t go overboard. I don’t find it attractive when a woman wears rings on all her toes. Not a big fan of the toenail jewelry either.
The sexiest feet I saw in the summer time belonged to a beautiful mature woman with an awesome french pedicure. All she wore was one gold ring on the third toe of her left foot and a silver ring on the third toe of her right foot. No rings on her big toes or baby toes, just one for each foot. Futhermore, she wore her toe rings properly, not halfway down and slightly past the nail like some women do.
Well, it’s not like you’ve really chosen pictures of “normal” french pedicures for this article. You’ve chosen extremely terrible examples of this to make your point, and I don’t blame you for that, but it is a very rare occurrence that I see toes that ridiculous looking in public. First of all, I think that it looks horrible for ANY toenails to be kept that long or that rounded. In my opinion, toenails look best when they are kept short and cut relatively straight across. When you apply a french pedicure to toes that have nicely trimmed and shaped nails, and you keep the white tips thin enough not to make it look weird, I think it looks really nice. It’s also nice when the tips are off-white, which looks more natural.
Also, not all toes “look like stumps”. Speak for yourself. I’ll take a girl with nice toes, a french pedi, and a toering any day!
I agree with Chris. I for one do not think that all toes “look like stumps”. To each his/her own, but I’ll take a lady with nice, long, slender toes, a french pedi, and moderately long nails any day of the week. My preference doesn’t have to be yours and I agree with that. Your mandate that french is gross and long is gross is your opinion, not everyone’s. We realize we are in the minority, but we are still entitled to our own tastes and preferences.
I’ve seen women with some freaky lookin’ toes this past summer in all sorts of colours. In most cases the outfits didn’t match the manicure or pedicure colourwise. Maybe these women weren’t intending to colour coordinate but a french pedicure is still a breath of fresh air to me. The only thing that beats it are natural toes, perfectly groomed with no polish. Yeah, it sounds plain-janey but I would take a woman wearing no polish on her toes over a lot of the colours I’ve seen women wear. Natural is always nice, and easy to maintain too.
Hilarious, and oh-so-true! Thanks for calling out those icky french pedicures.
JFTR, I’m not a huge fan of red polish on toes. Too common.
First off, yes, toenails should be cut short regardless if they are painted or not. That being said, French pedicures don’t bother me. What does oog me out are the nail polish colors that are so popular, yet unnatural, like shades of blue, green, black or the horrendous yellow. There’s something very unsettling about seeing someone with yellow nail polish on either her fingers or toes. It makes me want to give her a bottle of nail fungus medicine.
Oui, c’est non, non, non. But it is Fun, non?
thank you. i was just laminating to my husband about a family person who does this. it is freaky
When the nails are the right length and the white tip is made really thin it looks clean and classy and if it looks high maintenance its even better, that means the goal has been reached. If you don’t like it don’t do it, simple. I like toe rings also, as long as they’re not too fancy. You know, in the Tamil religion (of Indian origin) the silver toe rings women wear on the second toe of each foot are equivalent to our wedding ring. Each person has her own opinion, for example, in my multicultural country, my muslim friends have only one permitted style – henna on short nails for both hands and feet, it gives an orange finish and looks a bit weird when the nails grow out – but that’s the only thing allowed. At least you have the choice, others have it too.
I have to disagree.
I’m a man who admires nicely done nails on the hands and feet ow womsn. Over the years my tastes changed from long fingernails, with various colors, to short highly maintained natural nails.
My tastes in pedicures has remained the same, classy, tasteful, and with the look of high maintenance. Long toenails are definitely OUT, and always were.
A french pedicure is not designed to enhance overgrown toenails, but rather to give a fresh clean look. For many woman, its an easy option of blending with whatever they are wearing. Its a safe option, and it usually works.
So, as an alternative opinion, women, wear you nails (hands and feet) however you like, as long as they are maintained on a regular basis. And Please, Please, Please, when the color starts to chip, just TAKE IT OFF!
If you aren’t going to maintain the color, use lighter/neutral colors what won’t “look” chipped. There’s nothing worse than a dark color on nails thats chipped.
Just my 2 cents, from NY.
I’m quite chuffed with my French pedicure efforts. You can see the ‘before’ and ‘after’ on my Squidoo article French Pedicure – 10 Steps To Pretty Feet (Not sure if this is spam – hope not. Not sure if you would like a link or not either. I do know what you mean though, if badly done it can look very naff. Fortunately the feet are normally a long way away so I feel that if carefully done they can look good. Completely agree about long nails. If you have a look, leave a message and let me know if I’ve converted you.
I’ve seen some ridiculously nice french pedicures. Personally, I like the french look. By the way, there’s nothing unnatural about the whites of your toenails… if it wasn’t supposed to show it wouldn’t show… what’s unnatural is painting them with chemicals.
Someone has waaayyyy too much time on their hands to be worrying this much about other’s toes.
well, lots of people seem to have the time to read this, each day, for the past year. And the comments keep on coming…
I think the french pedicure is timeless and classy. I am sure some are speaking out against them because they are not as affordable as the simple pedicure. For some, they would have to do them themselves, and that looks cheap. So it is better to bash them. Most I have seen them on, are classy women who appreciate a clean look, and style. Very interesting thread though.